dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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