this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
