I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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