yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Randomize
