We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
