This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
