Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
