i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She needs sedatives and a leash
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
