So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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