ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
