The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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