You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize