I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
