sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
