matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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