It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So much Jack, so little girl.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
