the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
