I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
