haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
