I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
