Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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