i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
