I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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