I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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