found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize