I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
