I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
