she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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