RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
