Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
