I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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