stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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