My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
