RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
