How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
