No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
