its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
