At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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