the new term for farting is butt boxing.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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