I only kidnapped one of them. chill
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize