he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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