youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize