Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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