I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
