I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I got chris browned last night
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
