She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
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