I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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