he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
