so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
