I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize