STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
