Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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