i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
