apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize