Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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