she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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