is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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