I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
NoShamevember. You game?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
