Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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