My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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