I think scott just propositioned me for sex
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. đ
I mean, heâs listed as âAndrew DC Threesomeâ in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Canât. Tonightâs a netflix and dick night
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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