where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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