hell yes lets make some ravioli
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
